Donald Trump’s sentencing hearing is scheduled for July where he faces the possibility of going to prison. Trump said he will appeal the jury’s verdict while Melania said she will appeal requests for conjugal visits.
Hackers stole personal information belonging to half a billion customers of Ticketmaster. The data is being sold online for $500,000 although its believed most of that is just service fees.
According to a study, married cancer patients are 33% less likely to die than unmarried patients. On the other hand, unmarried cancer patients are 33% more likely to enjoy just one more cigarette in peace.
Tennessee announced it will become the first state to provide families with up to 100 diapers a month. “Your move, Florida” said senior citizens.
Paris Hilton said she once put on a fake baby bump because she wanted to know what it felt like to be pregnant. It’s like that time she spent the night in the pool house because she wanted to know what it felt like to be poor.
NASA warned that China is trying to take over the moon. The tip-off came when NASA noticed a slight increase in the moon’s population from zero to one billion.
Colorado police are testing an AI body camera that records police interactions and then writes its own police reports. It’s so accurate, it has police shouting, “Alexa, off!”
Hostess, the maker of Twinkies, was fined $300,000 after a factory employee severed a finger. Which explains Hostess’s newest product: Pinkies.